A Bit More Settled

My boyfriend/fiance won't be happy to read this (jealous):

I've fallen in love with 16 lil people :-)

I've been so busy this past 2 months with training, lesson planning, observation reports, theme boards, preparation of materials... And now that I am a bit more settled at work, I am starting to plan my wedding! (I consider wedding planning my new hobby haha)

Proof of my busy-ness: I've only ready 1 book so far. ONE! UNO! (Last year I read more than 30 books) It was a great book: Bringing Up Bébé. It's about how French parenting differs from American parenting. 

I shall try to write about it when I have time, but for now, I've got some lessons to plan! 

Book Sales - Big Bad Wolf + Scholastic Book Buffet

I have been spending too much on books. But the reason I buy books is because I really believe that reading is an excellent hobby to pick up. I buy all sorts of books: novels, memoirs, parenting books, children's books. Recently have been to a few book sales...hence overspending.

Of course there is the Big Bad Wolf sale. It has been getting lots of hype. I think this is the third time I am going. And I always drop by Book Xcess just to shop. In a nutshell, they can sell books cheap because they buy leftovers, thus the lack of popular titles.

I went after a long looong day of work and I was so tired though we were only there for about 2 hours. Bought 5 books for myself, and 20 children's books. For children's books, the prices were from about RM5 - RM10. Quite reasonable.

Another not as popular book sale is the book buffet by Scholastic. It was held in Midvalley Megakids and it costs RM49.90 for a bag (sized 25cm x 26cm). You can stuff as many books as you can. The bag was quite small but somehow, somehow, I managed to stuff these books inside:

Children's books

Books for my sister (11 years old)

I actually didn't really want some of the books, but the kiasu side of me just stuffed and stuffed the bag until it REALLY couldn't fit anymore. LOL

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” 

― Dr. Seuss

Ability Development from Age Zero by Shinichi Suzuki

Some points from his book which I totally, wholeheartedly agree:

- The fate of a child is in the hands of his parents.
- Talent has to be nurtured (Every child has the inborn potential, but if not nurtured, the talent won't develop)
- Children are like seedlings. If you set a child aside until primary school and then only start educating them, it is like taking a withering sprout and suddenly giving it large amounts of fertilizer, putting it in sunlight & flooding it with water. It is too late.
- Regardless how much interest a mother has, if a child does not want to practice, nothing will happen. Yes, they will practice, but it will not develop into an ability. When the child has the desire, then only the ability will be internalized.

- It is better to present a child fun tasks which he can do. Tasks which are done happily are internalized.

- Train a child to be ambidextrous - use both hands

The Mother Tongue Method
All Japanese children speak Japanese. From birth, babies absorb the language that they are exposed to and are able to learn the language. The same concept applies. If you want your child to play a musical instrument, expose them to songs you would want them to play. Let them listen to it repeatedly. Let them watch other children playing the song. Let them watch YOU learn how to play. One day, the child will automatically have the desire to learn to play the instrument.

Once they learn, let them perform to daddy on a makeshift stage. Daddy must applaud and say that he wants to listen again next week. By the next week, they would have improved.

Shichida

I've just finished Shichida's book on prenatal education. What do I think of it? Frankly, I don't know. The book is in Chinese, so there were some parts where I just browsed through (I'm not a huge fan of Chinese language). Also, the book does not seem to be based on research. He just says if you do this, babies will be like that etc. Where is the research? There are lots of testimonials, stories from parents who have tried his method. Their babies can remember things that happened when still in the womb, their babies give them easy labour, coming out using their (baby's) own strength and at the accurate weight on the date the parents tell them to......

Ok, I admit I still am a bit skeptical. I guess I'm the type where I have to see it to believe it. There are parts which I agree though, like talking to your baby, meditating, doing mental imaging, not giving the baby stress etc. I'd definitely try these methods IF I ever get pregnant. But that's still a long way to go, I'll let you know how it turns out. =)

Tiger Mama

I've recently read the Battle of the Hymn of a Tiger Mother. For those who have not heard of it, it is a memoir of how a Chinese mum raises her children, how she constantly forces them to practice their musical instruments (even when they're travelling), how she only expects the best of them.

Well, what do I think of the book?

It is certainly a page turner. This mum is the kind that people love to hate. I even wondered how her husband can stand her. But on the other hand, she does have some good points when she is comparing "Chinese parenting" with "Western parenting". Of course, these terms are vague and overgeneralize, but you get the gist. Being in a culture where we are "Chinese" but are taught "Western" values in the early childhood education field such as raising children's self esteem by praising them for every little thing they can do, not using negative words such as it's WRONG, it makes me wonder whether the "western" way overprotects children.

I guess the key to all of these is BALANCE.

At first I wondered, if her Tiger Mum parenting is wrong in so many ways, how come her kids turned out great and would do what she did? Well, after reading some interviews and articles about her, (they're everywhere!) I know why. It is because she did not write the whole truth in her book. The book is just about how she is the tiger mum. She states in interviews that her husband does the "western" part of parenting, having fun etc etc. She just left that part out.

Anyway, if you read the book, you'll find that her Tiger Mum parenting only worked on her elder daughter. For her second daughter, she eventually gave in and allowed her daughter to choose what she wanted. That says a lot, doesn't it. Each individual is different and you can't expect the same from every child.

It is indeed a good read, so do get it if you haven't yet!

Brain Rules

I am currently teaching in Beaconhouse, and as Beaconhouse is the education partner for the "Brain Rules for Parents & Educators", I had the opportunity to listen to the wonderful John Medina for Free! (Thanks, Beaconhouse!)

It was an enriching experience listening to the talk. One major thing I learnt is that there is still so much about the human brain that WE DON"T KNOW! But I shall share with you some things learnt that we do know, and is proven by research.

1. Learning involves Crystallized intelligence and Fluid intelligence, and as with all things, there must be a balance between the two.
Crystallized intelligence is the ability to remember/memorize something. Like it or not, learning involves rote learning. To be "successful" in learning, you definitely need to have good memory!
Fluid intelligence is improvising/making creative associations of the info as soon as the brain receives it.

2. It is important to teach your kids how to deal with FAILURE.
It is WRONG to praise your child like this: You got an A! Good job! You're so smart!
Why? Because when you praise your child for his innate ability, he will see it as, If I score an A, it means I'm smart. If I fail, it means I'm STUPID. They do not understand  why they have failed and will see errors as personal failings.
This is how you should praise your child: You got an A! Good job! You must have worked really hard!
Appealing to their effort allows for growth. Your child then sees it as, If I score an A, it means I worked hard. If I fail, it means I Did Not Work Hard Enough! They perceive errors as problems to be solved.
So, parents and teachers, teach them how to handle failure. We don't need to protect them from failure, but we need to teach them how to face these failures properly.

3. Emotional Stability of the Home directly affects children's academic performances.
How your kid turns out depends on how you reacted when your kids' feekings run hot/ intense.
This is how you should react when your kid is angry, upset, disappointed, frustrated...
FEARLESS - Don't be afraid of what others think. You don't need to be embarrassed if your child throws tantrums in public. Don't all children do that at one point or another? Your priority is your child.
Firstly, set behavioural rules in "stone" and consistently explain them.
You must always be form in your rules, but always make sure you explain them. If your child wants to reach for the vase, instead of saying "NO", say "DANGER! You might get hurt"
Secondly, be aware of children's emotions and help them verbalize them on a consistent basis.
Help your child name his feelings. He wants his teddy bear but it's not here right now? Tell your child, I know you are feeling FRUSTRATED. You miss your teddy bear now, don't you? It's OK to feel frustrated. (Don't we, too, feel frustrated when we don't get what we want?)
Thirdly, exhibit consistent empathic behaviour.
Comfort your child. See things from a child's point of view. Surprisingly, your child will feel better in a while. =)

Do log on to http://www.brainrulesasia.com/ for more info.
John Medina has authored two books: Brain Rules and Brain Rules for Baby.