A four-year-old was feeling dethroned by the arrival of her baby brother. One evening, when the baby was asleep, the mother sat down with her daughter and said, "I'd like to tell you a story about our family. These candles represent our family." She picked up one long candle and said, "This is the mommy candle. This one is for me." She lit the candle as she said, "This flame represents my love." She picked up another long candle and said, "This candle is the daddy candle." She used the flame from the mommy candle to light the daddy candle and said, "When I married your daddy, I gave him all my love, and I still have all my love left." She put the daddy candle in a candleholder, picked up a smaller candle and said, "This candle is for you." She lit the smaller candle with the flame from her candle and said, "When you were born, I gave you all my love. And look - Daddy still has all my love and I still have all my love left." The mother put that candle in a candleholder, then picked up the smallest candle and lit it while saying, "This candle is four your baby brother. When he was born, I gave him all my love. And look - you still have all my love. Daddy has all my love. And I still have all my love left because that is the way love is. You can give it all to everyone you love & still have all your love. Now look at all the light we have in our family with all this love.
Extracted from Positive Discipline in the Classroom by Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott & H. Stephen Glenn
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Positive Discipline - The First Three Years
I have already read so many versions of this series and I find it very helpful. Positive Discipline emphasizes on KIND & FIRM discipline methods that are non-punitive. They provide reasoning that are just - common sense.
To discipline children, you must first understand about their development. After all, you can't punish them for something beyond their control. It's like you punishing a one-month-old baby for not being able to walk when in fact (of course) babies can't walk yet. It's the same with expecting them to share, reason, follow instructions. When they are 0-3, they are unable to do it yet.
Instead of punishing them or even worse, being permissive that they get out of control, take baby steps. Children won't get it the first time. Be patient.
Some helpful things to remember! :)
GOING OUT IN PUBLIC
1. Plan ahead
- If you are going for a wedding dinner, expect that your little one will be restless.
2. Involve Children in the Planning Process
- Guide them through the day step by step: When you go into the car, what should you do? At the dinner, if you feel restless, what should you do?
3. Offer Limited Choices
- This is a great way to encourage autonomy. Children love to feel in charge. Make sure both choices you offer are doable and follow through. For example, you want your child to wear his shoes. Choices: do you want to put on your shoes on your own or do you want me to help you put on your shoes? Both doable and will get you the result you want.
4. Ask "What" & "How" Questions
- Eg, If a child is stuck on her tricycle, ask "What do you think would happen if you got off and backed up?" This invites her to think and is different from merely telling her to get off & back up.
5. Follow Through with Dignity & Respect
- Do what you say respectfully and give them a chance to try again.
SHARING
Note: Natural human development is that before 2, children are egocentric. To them, they are the center of their own world. This is not being selfish, it is being human.
1. Don't force your toddler to share
2. Begin teaching the concept of sharing without expecting them to understand
- Stories are a good way to introduce them to the concept of sharing
3. Model sharing
- Say, "I will share my cake with you"
4. Support your child's need to possess
- After all, you as an adult might have some things that you do not want to share. Try to understand children.
- Help other children find another toy to play with or provide more than one of the same toy is possible.
5. Acknowledge their feelings
- "I know it can be difficult to share.I have faith that you will share when you are ready"
6. Give opportunities for sharing
- Let them choose a toy for their friend.
7. Pretend Play
- Model sharing through dolls
8. Avoid passing judgment by shaming, labeling them as "naughty" or forcing them to apologize
- Kindly & firmly remove the item which belongs to someone else that she can't have without lecturing or shaming. You might say, "It is hard to share. You really wanted that." This shows empathy.
METHODS FOR IMPLEMENTING POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
1. Get children involved
2. Teach respect by being respectful
3. Use your sense of humour
4. Get into your child's world
5. If you say it, mean it and if you mean it, follow through with kindness & firmness
6. Create routines
7. Offer choices
8. Provide opportunities to help
9. Be patient
10. Provide supervision, distraction & redirection
To discipline children, you must first understand about their development. After all, you can't punish them for something beyond their control. It's like you punishing a one-month-old baby for not being able to walk when in fact (of course) babies can't walk yet. It's the same with expecting them to share, reason, follow instructions. When they are 0-3, they are unable to do it yet.
Instead of punishing them or even worse, being permissive that they get out of control, take baby steps. Children won't get it the first time. Be patient.
Some helpful things to remember! :)
GOING OUT IN PUBLIC
1. Plan ahead
- If you are going for a wedding dinner, expect that your little one will be restless.
2. Involve Children in the Planning Process
- Guide them through the day step by step: When you go into the car, what should you do? At the dinner, if you feel restless, what should you do?
3. Offer Limited Choices
- This is a great way to encourage autonomy. Children love to feel in charge. Make sure both choices you offer are doable and follow through. For example, you want your child to wear his shoes. Choices: do you want to put on your shoes on your own or do you want me to help you put on your shoes? Both doable and will get you the result you want.
4. Ask "What" & "How" Questions
- Eg, If a child is stuck on her tricycle, ask "What do you think would happen if you got off and backed up?" This invites her to think and is different from merely telling her to get off & back up.
5. Follow Through with Dignity & Respect
- Do what you say respectfully and give them a chance to try again.
SHARING
Note: Natural human development is that before 2, children are egocentric. To them, they are the center of their own world. This is not being selfish, it is being human.
1. Don't force your toddler to share
2. Begin teaching the concept of sharing without expecting them to understand
- Stories are a good way to introduce them to the concept of sharing
3. Model sharing
- Say, "I will share my cake with you"
4. Support your child's need to possess
- After all, you as an adult might have some things that you do not want to share. Try to understand children.
- Help other children find another toy to play with or provide more than one of the same toy is possible.
5. Acknowledge their feelings
- "I know it can be difficult to share.I have faith that you will share when you are ready"
6. Give opportunities for sharing
- Let them choose a toy for their friend.
7. Pretend Play
- Model sharing through dolls
8. Avoid passing judgment by shaming, labeling them as "naughty" or forcing them to apologize
- Kindly & firmly remove the item which belongs to someone else that she can't have without lecturing or shaming. You might say, "It is hard to share. You really wanted that." This shows empathy.
METHODS FOR IMPLEMENTING POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
1. Get children involved
2. Teach respect by being respectful
3. Use your sense of humour
4. Get into your child's world
5. If you say it, mean it and if you mean it, follow through with kindness & firmness
6. Create routines
7. Offer choices
8. Provide opportunities to help
9. Be patient
10. Provide supervision, distraction & redirection
Positive Discipline - Punishments
From Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen
To make children do better, we have to make them feel worse?
Is it more important for children to PAY for what they have done or to LEARN from what they have done?
Do children learn better through control and intimidation or through exploring the results of their choices in a nurturing environment?
Put yourself in a child's shoes. Would you be motivated to do better if your boss or your spouse treats you this way? Would it inspire you to improve your behaviour? Think back on your childhood, did you like it when you were punished? Just because you turned out fine anyway, it doesn't mean that there isn't a better way of discipline.
Punishment may help stop misbehaviour, but look at the long range results of punishments: Rebellion or Compliance. Compliance may seem like a good thing on the surface, but do you really want blind obedience? Punishment is an external control, it depends on others to tell what's right or wrong. Do you want a child to be an approval junkie? Approval junkie will always look to adults for praise and they rely on the opinions of others for their sense of self worth.
Think about what you really want for your child.
To make children do better, we have to make them feel worse?
Is it more important for children to PAY for what they have done or to LEARN from what they have done?
Do children learn better through control and intimidation or through exploring the results of their choices in a nurturing environment?
Put yourself in a child's shoes. Would you be motivated to do better if your boss or your spouse treats you this way? Would it inspire you to improve your behaviour? Think back on your childhood, did you like it when you were punished? Just because you turned out fine anyway, it doesn't mean that there isn't a better way of discipline.
Punishment may help stop misbehaviour, but look at the long range results of punishments: Rebellion or Compliance. Compliance may seem like a good thing on the surface, but do you really want blind obedience? Punishment is an external control, it depends on others to tell what's right or wrong. Do you want a child to be an approval junkie? Approval junkie will always look to adults for praise and they rely on the opinions of others for their sense of self worth.
Think about what you really want for your child.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Right Brain Education - A Teacher's Perspective
In the world of early childhood education, there seems to be two different sides:
First, there is the world of Play based, Hands on learning.
This is the approach I learnt in college. Children learn through play, active exploration, and should have the freedom to choose their own learning activities. They do not advocate worksheets & flashcards.
Then, there is the flashcard/right brain way of learning (Glenn Doman, Shichida, TweedleWink).
In a nutshell,
Glenn Doman first worked with children with brain damage. Then, he applied the same methods to normal children. His approach uses flashcards to teach babies reading, foreign languages, maths spots, doing complicated equations, swimming, encyclopedic knowledge etc.
Shichida is a professor from Japan. He believes that the right brain has its own 5 senses: telekinesis, telepathy, clairvoyance, tactility & precognition.
The right brain also has abilities that the left brain does not:
- high speed mass memorization (photographic memory, speed reading)
- resonance (able to receive waves)
- high speed automatic process function (able to do complicated math calculations automatically)
- image visualization function (able to visualize and make what they visualize happen)
TweedleWink is in a way a combination of Glenn Doman, Montessori and a bit of Shichida, too. It is a gentle, loving approach with the motto Relationships before Results. In the class, they go through 8 different learning areas: Vision, Vocabulary, World, Music, Reading, Math, Science & Art. It is an exposure of general knowledge and topics range from learning about Ethiopia to horse breeds to conifer seed cycle.
What I wonder is, why not have the best of both worlds?
What I know for certain is that early childhood is the best time to start educating your child. Children have sensitive periods for learning and they learn faster and easier when they are younger.
My guideline is: as long as the children enjoy it. I'm not encouraging parents to teach by making them sit at the desk without moving and just listen and do homework. Sadly, many think that teaching young children is torturing them and they make comments like "sad, nowadays children got no childhood.. Every time go for classes, start learning so young. Last time when I was young no such thing and I turned out OK." Well, just because you "turned out alright" doesn't mean you couldn't have turned out better.
Children actually enjoy learning!! YES REALLY! It's the education system of drilling and meaningless memorization which makes us grow to dislike learning. That's sadder.
I believe a holistic learning program will incorporate all the various methods, not just look at one side. Yes, children need lots of play where they can explore, run, jump, pretend, discover, imagine. Yes, children need hands on learning. Yes, children also learn from flashcards. They can learn reading, maths, expand their knowledge and the best part is, with flashcards, it only takes 5 - 10 minutes a day. If the children enjoy it and can learn. Why not?
Oh and a very important belief of mine: I believe that at the end of the day, character building is still much more important than cognitive development. What is the point if your child is super smart & bright, but is arrogant. Think of the long run. What is the purpose of education: to get good grades? Or to learn & love learning?
The even sadder part is that in Malaysia, most preschools and kindergartens are not using either approach. Not play based, not flashcards. They make 25 children sit for most parts of 4 hours or more a day and listen to the teacher without moving and do worksheets. Way to squash creativity! Go figure.
First, there is the world of Play based, Hands on learning.
This is the approach I learnt in college. Children learn through play, active exploration, and should have the freedom to choose their own learning activities. They do not advocate worksheets & flashcards.
Then, there is the flashcard/right brain way of learning (Glenn Doman, Shichida, TweedleWink).
In a nutshell,
Glenn Doman first worked with children with brain damage. Then, he applied the same methods to normal children. His approach uses flashcards to teach babies reading, foreign languages, maths spots, doing complicated equations, swimming, encyclopedic knowledge etc.
Shichida is a professor from Japan. He believes that the right brain has its own 5 senses: telekinesis, telepathy, clairvoyance, tactility & precognition.
The right brain also has abilities that the left brain does not:
- high speed mass memorization (photographic memory, speed reading)
- resonance (able to receive waves)
- high speed automatic process function (able to do complicated math calculations automatically)
- image visualization function (able to visualize and make what they visualize happen)
TweedleWink is in a way a combination of Glenn Doman, Montessori and a bit of Shichida, too. It is a gentle, loving approach with the motto Relationships before Results. In the class, they go through 8 different learning areas: Vision, Vocabulary, World, Music, Reading, Math, Science & Art. It is an exposure of general knowledge and topics range from learning about Ethiopia to horse breeds to conifer seed cycle.
What I wonder is, why not have the best of both worlds?
What I know for certain is that early childhood is the best time to start educating your child. Children have sensitive periods for learning and they learn faster and easier when they are younger.
My guideline is: as long as the children enjoy it. I'm not encouraging parents to teach by making them sit at the desk without moving and just listen and do homework. Sadly, many think that teaching young children is torturing them and they make comments like "sad, nowadays children got no childhood.. Every time go for classes, start learning so young. Last time when I was young no such thing and I turned out OK." Well, just because you "turned out alright" doesn't mean you couldn't have turned out better.
Children actually enjoy learning!! YES REALLY! It's the education system of drilling and meaningless memorization which makes us grow to dislike learning. That's sadder.
I believe a holistic learning program will incorporate all the various methods, not just look at one side. Yes, children need lots of play where they can explore, run, jump, pretend, discover, imagine. Yes, children need hands on learning. Yes, children also learn from flashcards. They can learn reading, maths, expand their knowledge and the best part is, with flashcards, it only takes 5 - 10 minutes a day. If the children enjoy it and can learn. Why not?
Oh and a very important belief of mine: I believe that at the end of the day, character building is still much more important than cognitive development. What is the point if your child is super smart & bright, but is arrogant. Think of the long run. What is the purpose of education: to get good grades? Or to learn & love learning?
The even sadder part is that in Malaysia, most preschools and kindergartens are not using either approach. Not play based, not flashcards. They make 25 children sit for most parts of 4 hours or more a day and listen to the teacher without moving and do worksheets. Way to squash creativity! Go figure.
Friday, July 27, 2012
DIY: Button Board
I saw a link on Pinterest & thought I could do it myself for the center.
I cut out felt into squares and sewed buttons onto the middle.
Then, I cut various shapes and added little slits in the middle.
The felt cloth backing was flimsy so I glued them onto cardboard and added adhesive ribbon to the borders.
Tadaa! It looks so pretty that I could even put in on my wall as decor. LOL
Easy peasy!
Children can learn buttoning, which trains them to be independent!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Cultural Exchange - Canada, US, UK
My packages are arriving!!
This is from Utah, USA
Flags
Money
Statue of Liberty mask
Dinosaur stickers
Seeds
Puzzle of USA
Flag craft
Postcards
Colouring sheets
Letter
Recipes & facts about the Statue of Liberty
From Canada
Animals
Letter
Maps, recipes, crafts, colouring sheets
Sticker, flag, postcard, pencil
Money
Maple leaf & shells
Tea & catalog
From UK
Letters
Flowers, recipe & colouring sheet
Stamps, coins, tattoo, pencil, postcard
Flag
Catalogs
Souvenir
Food
CD of favourite songs
Friday, July 13, 2012
My Cultural Package
After getting my groups, being excited, writing down ideas... I procrastinated. Was kinda busy with work (that's my lame excuse), so I just did a bit here and there. It was only after I received the package from Canada that I started to buck up and got my engines on (causing me lots of late nights and lack of sleep!) Once I started putting stuff together, the ideas just keep rolling in and I just wanna include more and more stuff! (However I am on a budget because it sure is not cheap sending 6 packages all around the world!)
Here is what I included in my package!
A letter (about family, festivals, Chinese food, holidays)
A map of Malaysia & Selangor
Pictures of traditional clothings
Some Indian bangles
Batik cloth
An article about why Indian women wear bangles
Languages - Bahasa Malaysia, Mandarin Chinese & Manglish!
Facts about the Petronas Twin Towers
Magnet of Petronas Twin Towers
Money - Coins, sample notes in Ang Pao, write-up to describe pictures on money
The Story of Chinese Zodiac
Chinese Zodiac colouring sheet
Chinese New Year story
Ang Paos containing fake money
Chinese New Year craft (wall decoration)
Chinese calligraphy writing wall decorations
Mid Autumn Festival Story
Paper lantern
Chinese Dragon Boat Festival story and colouring
Malaysian flag description, colouring sheet and pasting craft
A piece about fruits we love
Recipes - kaya, tang yuan & wanton
A packet of kuaci
Stamps, postcards & travel brochures
Ta-daa!! Hope it's enough! =p
Here is what I included in my package!
A letter (about family, festivals, Chinese food, holidays)
A map of Malaysia & Selangor
Pictures of traditional clothings
Some Indian bangles
Batik cloth
An article about why Indian women wear bangles
Languages - Bahasa Malaysia, Mandarin Chinese & Manglish!
Facts about the Petronas Twin Towers
Magnet of Petronas Twin Towers
Money - Coins, sample notes in Ang Pao, write-up to describe pictures on money
The Story of Chinese Zodiac
Chinese Zodiac colouring sheet
Chinese New Year story
Ang Paos containing fake money
Chinese New Year craft (wall decoration)
Chinese calligraphy writing wall decorations
Mid Autumn Festival Story
Paper lantern
Chinese Dragon Boat Festival story and colouring
Malaysian flag description, colouring sheet and pasting craft
A piece about fruits we love
Recipes - kaya, tang yuan & wanton
A packet of kuaci
Stamps, postcards & travel brochures
Ta-daa!! Hope it's enough! =p
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