Separation Anxiety

It's the time of the year. One of the most difficult time of the year - for teachers, parents and children. A new beginning for many children. A new milestone - FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

It is not easy for children as they have to leave their secure homes and step into an unfamiliar environment and learn to trust a stranger (the teacher).

It is not easy for parents to see their children crying, and sometimes parents feel heartbroken to see their little babies go through this phase.

It is not easy for teachers - can you imagine juggling three crying children, and at the same time, ensure that the other children have your attention, too? At the beginning of the day, I have to make sure I have my caffeine and my chicken essence to give me extra energy to face the challenges.

Easing Separation Anxiety
The best way to ease separation anxiety is to bridge the gap between home and school. In school, we invite the parents to stay with the children for the first few days of school. This is so that the children can start to build relationship with the teachers in a secure environment.

Children may bring in their own toy from home as a security blanket. Parents can give a family photo so that the children feel connected too their families during the day. If the child is not settled, come early, so that the child is not separated for such a long period of time.

Parents have to trust the teachers to take care of the children. Sometimes, it's difficult, but you just have to let go. The more you linger, the more difficult it is for your child to settle down.

Over the years, I have experienced many types of reactions to separation. Every child is unique and behaves differently, but generally, these are the categories:

The Nonchalant
Some children have no issue at all in going to school. Bear in mind that every child have different attachment patterns. This does not mean your child loves you any less than the one rolling on the floor crying. These children love to come to school and are so busy playing that they do not even look up to say goodbye to their parents.

The Silent Crier
This child does not burst out crying, rather, the tears well up in the eyes and drop down sadly. This child needs lots of reassurance, but calms down easily. The key is distraction. After acknowledging the child's feelings, I distract the child with fun things - Let's do drawing! Wow, look at this book! Come, let's play with the dolls!! I had a child who loves songs, and whenever he cried, I'd sing, and he'd sing along through his tears.

The Child who Rolls on the Floor Crying
This is the challenging one, as when they start screaming, it affects the other children as well. This child usually needs one to one attention separately from the class. Some might even vomit (that's the reason I always have spare clothes with me in school). Step one - build trust. This child needs to form an attachment to a teacher. Once that happens, I would have a shadow, following me wherever I go - even to the toilet! Over time, the child will slowly get used to other teachers, too.

Different children take different lengths of time to settle down. Sometimes, they are simply not ready. I had a child who cried hysterically every day for hours for a month. We then decided that the child was simply not ready and advised the mum to give her some time away from school. Three months down the road, she tried again. On her first day back at school - she said goodbye to her mum without a single tear!! That shows that sometimes, they just need some time.

Advice for parents - work together with the teachers if you are concerned. Make sure you find a school where you can trust the teachers to take care of your child when your child is vulnerable.

Happy schooling! :-)

Right Brain Education: A Teacher's Perspective

I was first introduced to right brain education when I joined TweedleWink as a teacher in 2010. Being a totally new concept to me, I had so many questions and so I did a lot of research about the subject. I was trained by Pamela Hickein, the founder of TweedleWink. Besides learning about the TweedleWink method, I also read Glenn Doman's book and Shichida's books. I would also recommend reading Daniel Pink's A Whole New Mind, which offers a different perspective on why right-brainers will rule the future.

This is my perspective on the subject:

One of the main concepts of right brain education is LOVE. It is important to enter the classroom with the right mindset. The right brain pathway opens up when it feels loved, relaxed, safe and secure. Thus, as a teacher, I don't yell at the children to sit down & listen. Some children are kinesthetic learners and need to move around. They do not feel relaxed when they are restrained. That's why it's important to give the children space to move around in class.

Right brain education is not a miracle. You can't just expect to send your child to class once a week and expect him/her to be a genius. Your child's early childhood years are precious. You have to spend time with your child and nurture his/her love of learning. Follow your child's interest. Read with your child. Take time to learn with your child. Don't just focus on how many flashcards you can flash a day, take time to explore, do crafts and nurture their creativity.

Just remember not to focus so much on the results. Enjoy the process. Have fun while learning. Don't compare your child with others. Every child is unique and learn differently, at different paces.

"You can struggle for weeks to teach a child to identify colours before they are ready.
Or you can do it in a few moments when they are ready to learn."

I believe it is the same for any other concept. When they have the interest, they learn very quickly. But when they are not ready, both parties will struggle and end up frustrated. I know, because I've been there, done that.

Most right brain classes only offer a weekly program. How about the other days of the week?

If you are looking for a preschool, I would recommend TweedleWink Playhouse. I have been to many schools and I can confidently say that TweedleWink Playhouse is truly one of a kind, offering a unique curriculum which blends right brain education with Montessori principles. It combines both methods beautifully and harmoniously, enhancing whole-brain synergy. 

You are most welcome to contact me if you ever want to find out more! 

The Hundred Languages of Children

My role as a teacher:

Learn to
Listen to the hundred languages of children.
Marvel with them
Love them
Sing with them
Discover with them
Invent with them
Dream with them

Encourage them to
use their hands
their minds
their hearts
- all together,

Encourage them
to listen & to speak
to understand with joy
to love & to marvel
all the time

Tell the child:
work & play
reality & fantasy
science & imagination
sky & earth
reason & dream
are inseparable.

Believe that
The hundred is there.

Little Teachers

When it comes to toddlers, sharing is a constant challenge, because at the age of 3, they are still rather egocentric - they think about themselves before thinking about others. In school, I am constantly encouraging the children to share. I do not force or demand them to share. Rather, I guide them in asking politely. If the other party is still playing and not ready to share, I encourage them to wait for awhile. When their friend is ready to share, they will.

One day, Little O and Little R are playing together. Little Y comes and grabs Little O's toy without asking. Immediately, Little O starts to scream! As I was about to step in, Little R says to Little O, "You do not need to scream. If you scream, your friend won't know what you want. You can ask, 'Can I have the toy, please?'" 

I beam with pride as I hear what she says. I've created little teachers! 

Of eating

When it comes to fussy eaters, one of the trick I have up my sleeves is giving children choices.

Scenario:
I don't want to eat carrots!

Rather than forcing them to eat, engaging in a power struggle where both parties end up frustrated, I respectfully offer:

"Ok, you choose: would you like to eat 3 pieces or 5 pieces?"

They usually would choose 3. But occasionally, a child who likes the number 5 (or perhaps can't differentiate more or less) would choose 5!

Sometimes, they negotiate. 2!

Ok, but 2 BIG pieces.

Win-Win!

The thing is, as adults, there are certain things we do not eat either. No one is ever going to force me to eat bitter-gourd! That's why I believe that we should not force the children to eat what they do not like. Of course, we encourage them to try. We encourage them to eat a bit, even if they don't like the taste.

The other day, I tried something at the spur of the moment.

"OK, if you don't like the carrot, how about you close your eyes when you eat it. I'll mix it with some chicken. You won't taste it!"

Surprisingly, it worked!

Kids Say the Funniest Things

We have a family tapestry in class, featuring the family photos of all the students and teachers. It's nice to have my family picture up there so the children are aware that I have a mummy, daddy, brother & sister, too, just like them.

One day, little L is looking at the family tapestry together with her mum and sees mine. (I used my wedding photo as my husband is my family, too.) She gasps as she looks at my picture.
"Mummy, is Ms Yen Nee a princess?" she asks.
Her mum & I laugh.
"Nope. That is Ms Yen Nee's wedding! She was getting married. But she looks like a princess, doesn't she?" her mum replies.
Little L says, "Yeah. She looks like a TALL princess."
At barely 155cm tall, no one EVER calls me tall! LOL. I guess to her, I am!

On a separate note, every time children see my husband's picture next to me, I'd innocently ask them who they think that is. 9 out of 10 times, the answer is......

"Is it your daddy?"

LOL!