Book Sales - Big Bad Wolf + Scholastic Book Buffet

I have been spending too much on books. But the reason I buy books is because I really believe that reading is an excellent hobby to pick up. I buy all sorts of books: novels, memoirs, parenting books, children's books. Recently have been to a few book sales...hence overspending.

Of course there is the Big Bad Wolf sale. It has been getting lots of hype. I think this is the third time I am going. And I always drop by Book Xcess just to shop. In a nutshell, they can sell books cheap because they buy leftovers, thus the lack of popular titles.

I went after a long looong day of work and I was so tired though we were only there for about 2 hours. Bought 5 books for myself, and 20 children's books. For children's books, the prices were from about RM5 - RM10. Quite reasonable.

Another not as popular book sale is the book buffet by Scholastic. It was held in Midvalley Megakids and it costs RM49.90 for a bag (sized 25cm x 26cm). You can stuff as many books as you can. The bag was quite small but somehow, somehow, I managed to stuff these books inside:

Children's books

Books for my sister (11 years old)

I actually didn't really want some of the books, but the kiasu side of me just stuffed and stuffed the bag until it REALLY couldn't fit anymore. LOL

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” 

― Dr. Seuss

Kids Say the Funniest Things

(The conversation was carried out in Mandarin)
Child (6 years old): Teacher, where did you come from?
Me: (Blur) What do you mean?
Child: I mean, are you from Malaysia or what?
Me: Ya, of course I am from Malaysia.
Child: Then why you know English one? I thought you are from Russia.

Hahahahaha

Praises - Not so great after all?

"Sometimes, kids who are overconfident and have been told that everything they do is wonderful actually can fear failure and be less likely to take on challenges"

I read this in the papers in an article "Debunking Parenting Myths" about the book Parent-Babble: How Parents can Recover from Fifty Years of Bad Expert Advice by John Rosemond. (Maybe one day I will buy the book, but for now, I have been spending too much on books!)

According to Rosemond, behaviour modification (using awards & punishments) to manipulate behaviour works on pets, but there is no evidence that it works on humans.

Montessori did not find rewards necessary and found that children did not appreciate the rewards which were given.

A study was also done by Harlow, and the bottom line is that the monkeys who were rewarded did not continue doing the puzzle after they received their reward, and the monkeys who did not receive any reward continued repeating the puzzle even after it was completed.

Jane Nelsen (positive discipline) says that if you praise too much, children might become "Approval Junkies", where they will constantly look towards adults for validation. "Teacher, see my drawing!"

To me, at the end of the day, it is HOW one praises which matter. Instead of generalizing your praises, "Good job!" "Well done!" "Great work!", be specific. You can describe, say a painting, "I see you used yellow colour to paint the sun". Recognize effort, "I see you worked really hard". Give encouragement, "Keep trying!". Or just don't say anything. According to Montessori, normalised children love silence. When they are concentrating on a piece of work, why distract & interrupt them with your good job well done. Just let them work in silence!

 If you make it all about rewards and praises, then their motivation comes from you. At the end of the day, a child would learn best if the motivation comes from within.

Ability Development from Age Zero by Shinichi Suzuki

Some points from his book which I totally, wholeheartedly agree:

- The fate of a child is in the hands of his parents.
- Talent has to be nurtured (Every child has the inborn potential, but if not nurtured, the talent won't develop)
- Children are like seedlings. If you set a child aside until primary school and then only start educating them, it is like taking a withering sprout and suddenly giving it large amounts of fertilizer, putting it in sunlight & flooding it with water. It is too late.
- Regardless how much interest a mother has, if a child does not want to practice, nothing will happen. Yes, they will practice, but it will not develop into an ability. When the child has the desire, then only the ability will be internalized.

- It is better to present a child fun tasks which he can do. Tasks which are done happily are internalized.

- Train a child to be ambidextrous - use both hands

The Mother Tongue Method
All Japanese children speak Japanese. From birth, babies absorb the language that they are exposed to and are able to learn the language. The same concept applies. If you want your child to play a musical instrument, expose them to songs you would want them to play. Let them listen to it repeatedly. Let them watch other children playing the song. Let them watch YOU learn how to play. One day, the child will automatically have the desire to learn to play the instrument.

Once they learn, let them perform to daddy on a makeshift stage. Daddy must applaud and say that he wants to listen again next week. By the next week, they would have improved.

Are Babies Born Good??

Are babies born good?

A thought provoking video to watch!! :)

Helping your child accept a new baby

A four-year-old was feeling dethroned by the arrival of her baby brother. One evening, when the baby was asleep, the mother sat down with her daughter and said, "I'd like to tell you a story about our family. These candles represent our family." She picked up one long candle and said, "This is the mommy candle. This one is for me." She lit the candle as she said, "This flame represents my love." She picked up another long candle and said, "This candle is the daddy candle." She used the flame from the mommy candle to light the daddy candle and said, "When I married your daddy, I gave him all my love, and I still have all my love left." She put the daddy candle in a candleholder, picked up a smaller candle and said, "This candle is for you." She lit the smaller candle with the flame from her candle and said, "When you were born, I gave you all my love. And look - Daddy still has all my love and I still have all my love left." The mother put that candle in a candleholder, then picked up the smallest candle and lit it while saying, "This candle is four your baby brother. When he was born, I gave him all my love. And look - you still have all my love. Daddy has all my love. And I still have all my love left because that is the way love is. You can give it all to everyone you love & still have all your love. Now look at all the light we have in our family with all this love.

Extracted from Positive Discipline in the Classroom by Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott & H. Stephen Glenn

Positive Discipline - The First Three Years

I have already read so many versions of this series and I find it very helpful. Positive Discipline emphasizes on KIND & FIRM discipline methods that are non-punitive. They provide reasoning that are just - common sense.

To discipline children, you must first understand about their development. After all, you can't punish them for something beyond their control. It's like you punishing a one-month-old baby for not being able to walk when in fact (of course) babies can't walk yet. It's the same with expecting them to share, reason, follow instructions. When they are 0-3, they are unable to do it yet.

Instead of punishing them or even worse, being permissive that they get out of control, take baby steps. Children won't get it the first time. Be patient.

Some helpful things to remember! :)

GOING OUT IN PUBLIC
1. Plan ahead
- If you are going for a wedding dinner, expect that your little one will be restless.

2. Involve Children in the Planning Process
- Guide them through the day step by step: When you go into the car, what should you do? At the dinner, if you feel restless, what should you do?

3. Offer Limited Choices
- This is a great way to encourage autonomy. Children love to feel in charge. Make sure both choices you offer are doable and follow through. For example, you want your child to wear his shoes. Choices: do you want to put on your shoes on your own or do you want me to help you put on your shoes? Both doable and will get you the result you want.

4. Ask "What" & "How" Questions
- Eg, If a child is stuck on her tricycle, ask "What do you think would happen if you got off and backed up?" This invites her to think and is different from merely telling her to get off & back up.

5. Follow Through with Dignity & Respect
- Do what you say respectfully and give them a chance to try again.

SHARING
Note: Natural human development is that before 2, children are egocentric. To them, they are the center of their own world. This is not being selfish, it is being human.

1. Don't force your toddler to share

2. Begin teaching the concept of sharing without expecting them to understand
- Stories are a good way to introduce them to the concept of sharing

3. Model sharing
- Say, "I will share my cake with you"

4. Support your child's need to possess
- After all, you as an adult might have some things that you do not want to share. Try to understand children.
- Help other children find another toy to play with or provide more than one of the same toy is possible.

5. Acknowledge their feelings
- "I know it can be difficult to share.I have faith that you will share when you are ready"

6. Give opportunities for sharing
- Let them choose a toy for their friend.

7. Pretend Play
- Model sharing through dolls

8. Avoid passing judgment by shaming, labeling them as "naughty" or forcing them to apologize
- Kindly & firmly remove the item which belongs to someone else that she can't have without lecturing or shaming. You might say, "It is hard to share. You really wanted that." This shows empathy.

METHODS FOR IMPLEMENTING POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
1. Get children involved
2. Teach respect by being respectful
3. Use your sense of humour
4. Get into your child's world
5. If you say it, mean it and if you mean it, follow through with kindness & firmness
6. Create routines
7. Offer choices
8. Provide opportunities to help
9. Be patient
10. Provide supervision, distraction & redirection