"Sometimes, kids who are overconfident and have been told that everything they do is wonderful actually can fear failure and be less likely to take on challenges"
I read this in the papers in an article "Debunking Parenting Myths" about the book Parent-Babble: How Parents can Recover from Fifty Years of Bad Expert Advice by John Rosemond. (Maybe one day I will buy the book, but for now, I have been spending too much on books!)
According to Rosemond, behaviour modification (using awards & punishments) to manipulate behaviour works on pets, but there is no evidence that it works on humans.
Montessori did not find rewards necessary and found that children did not appreciate the rewards which were given.
A study was also done by Harlow, and the bottom line is that the monkeys who were rewarded did not continue doing the puzzle after they received their reward, and the monkeys who did not receive any reward continued repeating the puzzle even after it was completed.
Jane Nelsen (positive discipline) says that if you praise too much, children might become "Approval Junkies", where they will constantly look towards adults for validation. "Teacher, see my drawing!"
To me, at the end of the day, it is HOW one praises which matter. Instead of generalizing your praises, "Good job!" "Well done!" "Great work!", be specific. You can describe, say a painting, "I see you used yellow colour to paint the sun". Recognize effort, "I see you worked really hard". Give encouragement, "Keep trying!". Or just don't say anything. According to Montessori, normalised children love silence. When they are concentrating on a piece of work, why distract & interrupt them with your good job well done. Just let them work in silence!
If you make it all about rewards and praises, then their motivation comes from you. At the end of the day, a child would learn best if the motivation comes from within.
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