Positive Discipline - Punishments

From Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen

To make children do better, we have to make them feel worse?
Is it more important for children to PAY for what they have done or to LEARN from what they have done?
Do children learn better through control and intimidation or through exploring the results of their choices in a nurturing environment?

Put yourself in a child's shoes. Would you be motivated to do better if your boss or your spouse treats you this way? Would it inspire you to improve your behaviour? Think back on your childhood, did you like it when you were punished? Just because you turned out fine anyway, it doesn't mean that there isn't a better way of discipline.

Punishment may help stop misbehaviour, but look at the long range results of punishments: Rebellion or Compliance. Compliance may seem like a good thing on the surface, but do you really want blind obedience? Punishment is an external control, it depends on others to tell what's right or wrong. Do you want a child to be an approval junkie? Approval junkie will always look to adults for praise and they rely on the opinions of others for their sense of self worth.

Think about what you really want for your child.